You saw how I “kicked it up a notch” in April, but you haven’t heard yet how I struggled this month. I consider myself pretty honest, open person. I don’t expect to be any different on this blog, so here I am. Full disclosure.
Being part of the fitness industry requires me to stay up to date on trends, new exercises, eating plans, music, and a whole bunch of other things. I want to be knowledgeable in what I do so I’m constantly scouring the internet, facebook, and twitter for new information. I see lots of beautiful, fit women whom I admire.
However, I’ve found something recently start to creep into my mind.
I’ve written before about how I can still struggle with self-image and if someone is bigger (smaller), faster, or stronger. We all have an ideal of what we want to look like, and since I had been working so hard to meet that in April, I found that I was much more focused on it than in other months. I was constantly comparing and thinking about how I could get better.
I also found these thoughts often in my head,
♦ My arms aren’t toned enough.
♦ My thighs are too muscular.
♦ I’m not fast enough, strong enough…..
As if these thoughts aren’t bad enough, I become a “hater”. I start giving reasons (making excuses) as to why they are that way and I’m not.
♦ They don’t have 2 small kids with them all day!
♦ Of course they look like that, they don’t have kids.
♦ They have more money to spend on organic food and gym memberships…
And the envy spreads further and further.
And the dissatisfaction roots deeper and deeper.
At the end of the day, I’m a hot mess… unhappy with my work ethic, discipline, body, stage of life, financial situation, etc etc.
I am fit, healthy, energetic. I have one fabulous husband, 2 awesome kids and I am able to stay at home with my kids. Why on earth would I be struggling with these things?
I’m convinced that Satan is trying to get me down by taking away my zeal and passion for a healthy life, women, and for those women to walk with the Lord. I’m a threat to him!
♦ He knows that when I am focusing on myself, I can’t focus on my kids and hubby.
♦ He knows that when I am dissatisfed with my body, I can’t encourage a woman about hers.
♦ He knows that when I envy someone else, he has my heart in the wrong place.
So today I’m here to let you know that you aren’t alone. I am right here with you and I’m doing something about it.
I’m fighting back.
1.) Taking these thoughts captive as they enter my mind (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
2.) Stepping back and not reading as much info online
3.) Thanking God for what He has given me
4.) Remembering how far I’ve come, and not how far I have yet to go
Will you stand with me today? Are you struggling with anything like this? Stand firm. Remember that our fight is not against ourselves, the beautiful woman across the room, or our husbands. It’s against the one who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy. (Ephesians 6:12)Let’s arm ourselves for this battle and FIGHT!