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Clare Smith

Training Body & Soul

When the problem really isn’t the problem

January 25, 2012

You know what I mean.

→ It’s when you minimize a co-workers accomplishments because you are really just jealous of them.

→ It’s when you roll your eyes at how someone tends to their house perfectly when really you are disappointed in how you tend yours.

→ It’s when you yell at your kids for being bad when you are really just frustrated with your husband.

→ It’s when you are frustrated with your husband for acting selfish when really you are the one who was selfish.

→ It’s when you get jealous at a friend for running the 5K when you are really just disappointed with your own self-discipline.

→ It’s when you question the true happiness of a friend’s marriage when you really are questioning if you married the right one.

→ It’s when you minimize a friend’s weight loss achievements because you just can’t put down the ice cream.

→ It’s when you can’t rejoice in another sister’s blessing because you really are wondering why God isn’t blessing you.


We have a way of deferring or transferring problems onto the wrong areas. We often take our frustrations with ourselves out on other people when the frustration we have is really with ourselves!

We need to be on guard for this. It’s so easy to slip into doing this. I know because I am guilty!

Here’s how I help keep this in check in my life.

♥ Pray for wisdom. I’m always asking God for wisdom in my life. There are days when the focus is parenting or marriage related, but in general, I need to be open for God’s wisdom to shine down so I can see what is going on.

♥ Own it. Once you see your behavior, take ownership. Don’t justify it. Don’t blame it on someone else. Own up. Get down and dirty and find the root problem.

♥ Keep accountable. I find that having someone in my life that I have to fess up to really helps. It also helps in knowing that I have someone that could come to me, while speaking the truth in love, and point out any errors in my life.

♥ Count your blessings. When I’m thankful for the things God has blessed me in my life, I’m less likely to be jealous of what someone else has.

♥ Live your life. Keep your gaze straight forward on what God has told you to tend to, to improve, to love. At the end of the day, YOU are accountable for your own life, not the lives of others!

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Filed Under: Featured, Good Living, Spiritual Tagged With: accountability, spiritual 5 Comments

About Clare

Comments

  1. Tiffany says

    January 26, 2012 at 12:23 am

    Yes. Clare this was so needed tonight. thank you!

    Reply
  2. cynthia says

    January 26, 2012 at 1:42 am

    Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this!

    Reply
  3. Kara says

    January 26, 2012 at 11:30 am

    WONDERFUL post! I have linked on my blog to your post as well as sharing on my facebook page. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy your blog. Thank you!

    Reply
  4. Stephanie says

    January 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Wow, totally what I needed to hear! I’m so guilty of SO MANY of those things. I am a “projector”. When something is bothering me about myself, I project it onto another person/area in my life. Ouch. Convicting but very needed for me at this time in my life! Thanks for posting this. 🙂

    Reply
  5. tonya says

    January 31, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    Yes, ouch! Excellent word….tough to swallow….guess I’ll be chewing on it for a while! Thanks for posting.

    Reply

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